Consciousness / A Damaged Word – plus other important terms

Language has a problem: words, even those meant to have specific definitions and uses, gather extra meanings once “let loose” in different environments, including academia, popular conversation, and ethnic, religious, and social groups. Words can become so degraded that they no longer have a specific (or even consistent) meaning and must be re-evaluated.

Conscious(ness) is one of those words.

Human beings are severe hoarders – any and every idea is saved, whether valid, nonsensical, or incomprehensible. Archaic ideas are held to be as true or accurate as modern knowledge. The result is that human thoughts, from the confused and valueless, to the sublime and revolutionary, are a tangle of debris, like that of a  Tsunami that collects everything in its path. And now that we have the Internet, no one is cleaning up the clogged beaches.

Any discussion of “being conscious” must first define what “being conscious” is, but few writers bother to do this. I think that an individual animal (human) is either conscious or not. Qualifiers such as “partially conscious” or “levels of consciousness” demonstrate that we don’t have a clear definition or understanding of being conscious.

If we want to make progress in the study of human behavior, we must strip away the overburden of “supernatural and archaic” deposits that murkify the idea of a “conscious state.” There needs to be a valid intellectual scaffold on which to arrange concrete evidence. I don’t care how in love with psycho-babble our culture is, consciousness must be rooted in physical reality.

Humans not only hoard objects, we hoard ideas that no have no purpose other than screwing up our lives.

Humans not only hoard objects, we hoard ideas that clutter and devalue our thinking.

A short list of terms that I use in evaluating information.

Natural: Having a real or physical existence as opposed to one that is supernatural, spiritual, intellectual, or fictitious.

Supernatural: A being, object, location, concept or event that exists outside physical law: a dimension that exists solely in the human mind. 

Religion: The ritual presentation of the culture myth that includes the —-“isms” Patriotism, Consumerism, Nazism, Militarism, Capitalism etc. (From Joseph Campbell)

Mind: The sum of an organism’s or group’s reactions to the environment. Instinct is the source of automatic reactions; other reactions may be learned. So-called “emotion” is a physiologic response to the environment and belongs to mind.

Culture: The sum of an organism’s or group’s interactions with the environment. These interactions may be instinctual, learned or invented.

Mind and culture are not exclusive to Humans. Bacteria react to, and interact with the environment.

The criteria that I use to define mind and culture removes the “supernatural” barrier between our species and what is referred to as “lower animals” or “the rest of life” or plants, and all that “alien” stuff such as fungus, which do react and interact with the environment in amazing ways and therefore possess mind and culture.

Consciousness is the use of verbal language to process and communicate information. (Not limited to other humans; we talk to anything alive or dead.)

This definition recognizes consciousness as a process; it is not a “thing” – not a bump on the brain nor a nebulous supernatural fog. This definition frees us to talk about the characteristics of human consciousness, without having to project our type of verbal consciousness onto other life forms. It also recognizes nonverbal communication and the ALTERNATE states produced by using other languages –  music / mathematics / visual-spatial and other languages of which we are unaware.  These other brain processes require new definitions and terms. Individuals whose primary communication is by means of mathematics / music surely experience brain states not available to concrete visual thinkers like me.

Conscious does not = self aware. Animals such as apes or dolphins are self aware as demonstrated by the mirror trick, but as to what subjective state occurs when they use their languages, we are not in a position to know. Their languages surely convey information, but their subjective experience is outside our knowing.

More Visual, Word Brain / Re-Post

I agree that dependence on symbolic (word) language sets modern humans apart from ancestral hominids, but does that dependence constitute a “new” species?

Some thoughts on what this implies or reveals:

1. The “language ready” infant brain, if healthy, is also “vision ready” “movement ready” “hearing ready” “odor ready” “digestion ready” – a number of physical states and abilities must be developed in childhood through learning and practice, or be acquired from the environment, such as establishing gut bacteria for digestion or immunity to disease from the mother.  This is not exclusive to humans. Animals have varying ratios of instinctual / learned behavior.

2. The brain has been established as a plastic organ, in which neural connections and pathways – “circuits” must be established, and indeed, learning language is one means to change / construct the brain, along with hand-eye operations, exercise, movement, balance and exposure to new and novel objects and environments. (Just about everything is new and novel for an infant!) Stimulation, learning and problem-solving over a period of many years is are vital to producing an adult brain.


3. Writing is a recent tool for speaking across dimensions of space and time. Many modern humans cannot read or write, because they have had no opportunity (or compelling reason) to learn. We tend to forget this fact in Western developed nations: failing to become literate may be a severe cultural handicap in developed  cultures, but being literate is not a general measure of human intelligence. Writing is a recent tool that cannot be considered as “necessary” to being human.

4. Verbal language acquisition and continued brain development are possible due to human infants being delivered 12-25 years premature.

5. Verbal language cannot be considered as the sole or highest means of thinking, or as the measure of human intelligence. It is a form of communication made possible by a window of opportunity in brain development. If humans infants were born at a more developed stage, we may not have developed verbal language at all. 

6. Our individual use of language is inconsistent in quality of expression, accuracy of communication, specific utility, and clarity of instruction: the qualities of word language are highly dependent on individual skills and cultural focus. In the United States, English used to be taught as a primary requirement of public education because it was recognized that learning – using language teaches the brain how to organize thought and analyze information. This has been forgotten – stress is on the social use of language.

7. Words have the power (in the mind of the speaker and the hearer) to create an imaginary dimension (the supernatural dimension) whose contents and principles of operation have little connection with physical reality. This has caused severe problems in human behavior.


Public Schools / Jr. Prisons?

American social institutions that “serve” children sanction child abuse. 

What is incredible is that we have to pass laws that make institutional child abuse illegal, otherwise it’s assumed by those that care for and teach children that abuse is okay.


In 2009, after completing its nationwide investigation into the use of restraint and seclusion in public schools, the U.S. Government Accountability Office (GAO) released its report on Selected Cases of Death and Abuse at Public and Private Schools and Treatment Centers. The investigation concluded that there were “no federal laws restricting the use of seclusion and restraints in public and private schools and widely divergent laws at the state level.” It also stated that there were “hundreds of cases of alleged abuse and death related to the use of these methods on school children during the past two decades.”

The report gave examples of these cases, including a seven-year-old purportedly dying after being held face down for hours by school staff, five-year-olds allegedly being tied to chairs with bungee cords and duct tape by their teacher and suffering broken arms and bloody noses, and a 13-year-old reportedly hanging himself in a seclusion room after prolonged confinement.

In terms of special needs children, the report found that those with disabilities are reportedly being restrained and secluded in public and private schools and other facilities, sometimes resulting in injury and death. The 10 closed cases examined by the GAO revealed that children with disabilities were sometimes restrained and secluded even when they did not appear to be physically aggressive and their parents did not give consent. They also were restrained facedown or using other methods of restraint that block air to the lungs, which can be deadly. The teachers and staff in these cases were often not trained in the use of restraints and techniques, and they continue to be employed as educators. So if they are trained, it’s okay?

Even worse, the reasoning behind the use of these practices makes every student vulnerable, not just those with special needs. Whether it is for convenience, discipline, or is, as some would claim, “therapy,” the misuse of restraint especially has become a dangerous standard of practice without any evidence to back it. According to the Alliance to Prevent Restraint, Aversive Interventions & Seclusion (APRAIS), research shows that aversive interventions, restraint, and seclusion carry no therapeutic value, and as we’ve seen, can compromise health and safety.

Let’s Just Call It Abuse


Who knew that torture subjects included American school children?

There’s nothing more frustrating in the advocacy world than opposing interpretations of the same word. Solutions are much more difficult to come by if one side feels there is no problem in the first place. We of course see this with the very label of our community—autism. Many in the community interpret autism, or being autistic, as a privilege, a gift; even something you are rather than something you have. Others see it as a “have” condition of pain, discomfort, limitation and risk.

Similar multiple meanings apply to restraint. Many educators believe restraints are used to maintain the safety and order of the classroom and students, while those who oppose their use believe they are dangerous to the physical and mental health of children, and may result in death. While restraint may be used for instances when immediate danger threatens any individual, its misuse for the purpose of controlling behavior, disciplining, or asserting authority should be called something else entirely.

Seclusion rooms—recently referred to as “scream rooms”—are not only harmful, they defeat the entire purpose of inclusivity. Unlike restraint, which has the “imminent danger” exception to the rule, forcing a child into an empty room, closet, stall or cage has no exception. “Aversive intervention,” which is a preferable and friendlier term over abuse or torture, encompasses restraint and seclusion, but also covers the use of random disciplinary actions ranging from force-feeding and forced exercise, to duct-taping and verbal assault. At a minimum, these practices cause trauma and regression in children with autism and are quite simply abusive.

The Dangers

It is estimated that more than 200 students, many with disabilities, have died due to seclusion and restraint practices being used in schools over the last five years. While restraining someone against their will is typically considered a crime, its continued allowable misuse in schools can cause postural asphyxia, unintended strangulation, death due to choking or vomiting and being unable to clear the airway, death due to inability to escape in the event of fire or other disaster, cutting off of blood circulation by restraints, and nerve damage by restraints. Other dangers include post-traumatic stress disorder, heart, gastrointestinal and pulmonary complications, decreased appetite and malnutrition, dehydration, urinary tract infections, incontinence, anxiety and agitation, depression, loss of dignity, sleeping problems, increased phobias and increased aggression, including SIB (self-injurious behavior).

As one advocate recently pointed out, the use of these practices could also increase a child’s tendency to run or elope, behaviors that have their own set of risks. According to my organization, the National Autism Association (NAA), at least 80 individuals with autism were reported missing between September 2011 and February 2012 following elopement. Of those, 25 percent were students who left school grounds.

A Long Overdue Federal Bill

The good news is that federal legislation has recently been introduced to protect students from these dangerous practices. The Keeping All Students Safe Act, introduced by Senator Tom Harkin (D-IA), would provide protections to students across the country by prohibiting interventions that compromise health and safety. It would require that schools conduct a debriefing with parents and staff after a restraint is used, as well as plan for positive behavioral interventions that will prevent the use of restraints with the student in the future. It also would prohibit:

  • Aversive behavioral interventions that compromise health and safety.
  • Physical restraint that is life threatening, including physical restraint that restricts breathing.
  • Physical restraint if contraindicated based on the student’s disability, healthcare needs, or medical or psychiatric condition.
  • The use of seclusions and/or restraints in a student’s Individual Education Plan or any other behavioral plan.
  • Seclusion in locked and unattended rooms or enclosures.

What an improvement: teachers and staff will be required to tell parents the methods that were used to abuse their child.

See related posts on notorious child abusers Dr. Bruno Bettelheim (left) and Dr. Matthew Israel (right).


See also:

A Violent Education

Corporal Punishment of Children in US Public Schools


The Hell Reserved for Asperger Females

Traditional Judeo-Christian Myth goes like this: Women are inferior to men and therefore ought to be submissive in all things. Why? Because God said so.

As a young child on the track to being socialized into the Sisterhood I soon discovered that it is a crime against God, Nature (not actual Nature, but some trumped up feeble concept of nature) and of course, Men, for a female child to wander the world freely, displaying equal confidence, intelligence, and expectations for success – indeed the personal fulfillment that males automatically demand. 

What really irked me was being told that when I encountered a male who was less intelligent, I was to pretend to be dumb and helpless. If I didn’t, his feelings would be hurt and his penis wouldn’t work.

This is a real advertisement. Women were openly called stupid and incompetent.

This is a real advertisement. Women in the 1950-60s were openly portrayed as stupid and incompetent.

If social people had known at the time (1950-60s) that I was Asperger, my life would have been over – my brain handed on a platter to the Priests of psychology for re-education, retraining, and possible water-boarding. I would have been forced into soul-killing conformity. I would have heard ceaseless condemnations about how I was born without empathy, a theory of mind, or the ability to move my eyes properly. I escaped destruction by being born in the pre-Asperger era.

The sad irony is that many males (grudgingly perhaps) did accept my peculiar female presence in the world without much more than an initial statement of surprise. Male coworkers and friends often noted that my confidence and abilities were unusual, but not unwelcome; a few discovered that it was possible for men and women to have real conversations about real things. 

As expected in a hierarchy, low-ranking males must continually adapt o being pushed around by higher-ranking males; the “disturbance” I caused was about where to place a female like me in the male gang hierarchy. The favored tactic was to treat me “like a girl”; expecting me to do menial chores like bringing coffee for everyone to meetings. I put salt in the coffee pot the first time I was asked: end of battle.  


The Hell that awaits Asperger girls is the special hatred that comes from the Sisterhood of “socially normal” female killer-cannibals who defend the status quo of “female inferiority” as required by infantile social rules (netoney) Women are expected to fight to the death in a tiny segregated social arena, and not to succeed outside that combat zone. No one who has seen “normal” females gang up on the nonconforming female can deny their blood lust. 

No female who has been the object of their wrath can shake the shock of vicious betrayal by her own sex. The fair treatment and trust that Asperger individuals crave from birth are dashed. It’s like being clubbed to death by a gang of cheerleaders in scary make up. Yes Ladies, that’s what it’s like to be attacked by NT females. 


University requirements for aspiring cheerleaders. A little obvious? White gals preferred.

Racism is a Social Activity / Re-Post

African Americans are still classified as being a slave population by their position at the bottom of the social hierarchy.

untitledslave imagesslavery imagesN54TYW6N

Those who would like to see human beings live better lives cannot rely on magic.  Magic does not exist, and yet so many people rely on magical beliefs; it’s the basis for passive acceptance of a cruel social hierarchy.

“Hope springs eternal” is a declaration of defeat.

How many times a day do we bemoan the human condition? War, violence, brutality, famine, disease, degradation of the environment, natural disasters, accidents, inequality, violation of human rights, human trafficking and on and on.

A report that is written by a government agency or that appears as a news story,  pledges to change reality; promises are made by politicians and community leaders. Protests are staged: let’s establish a charity, get a celebrity sponsor, solicit donations, have a bake sale, print and sell T-shirts, send letters and emails…..spread awareness of the problem, have a fun-run, tie ribbons to trees, burn candles, get coverage on the news. This activity has become a magic ritual that Americans believe wholeheartedly as having the power to change reality.

But never, ever, does it occur to anyone that beliefs are the root of the problem. The inferiority of race is a core American belief and racism is a traditional response.

The problem is rooted in how we see Africans historically. We don’t see them as free people living in their homelands in Africa, in villages of families and communities; we don’t see them as individuals. We see them in the state of slavery, which is literally how they have been pictured in magazines, textbooks, novels, movies, and politic parties for centuries. In white America, slavery remains the reference state for African Americans even now. The ground level “picture” is that African Americans are slaves by definition and declaration, and by religious (Christian) decree, a subhuman race who through the intervention of “good white people” were “given” freedom (but are undeserving.) African Americans are expected to continually apologize for being in this country, as if they were invaders rather than unwilling forced labor. African Americans are expected to continue to define themselves in that context and to be grateful for whatever scrap of “support or welfare” that is dished out by government and society.

The United States has never viewed black people as equal people. They are seen as a nuisance to be fixed; inherited from some mysterious time in our past. Slaves by nature; emancipated, but never equal. Free, but not free. African American demands for equal treatment (when by law and birth all the rights of citizenship are theirs!) remain a “pain in the ass” for the white power base, whose hidden agenda is to promote the appearance of progress toward a race-less society while working to eliminate that possibility.

The failure to see that horrible behavior toward other humans is rooted in our beliefs, which are ideas about how the world of humans ought to be and fraudulently legitimized by some cosmic decree, is why we fail to change social behavior. You can’t teach a child that violence and brutality are the “go to” behaviors in society, and then expect him or her to respect any living creature, including himself. If people don’t have value, then there is no kindness, no appreciation for life, no compassion or equality.

Racism is a choice.

A group of modern Egyptians

A group of modern Egyptians. The conclusion of a commentator?

“These people would unquestionably be considered black in America today.”

“Are Egyptians Black?”

From a website whose users avidly pursue the distinction of race by utilizing  recent advancements in human genetics to “scientifically” establish that race is legitimate. Race is a non-scientific social, cultural and religious concept that persists in the United States as a perfectly acceptable means of establishing inequality. 


Stop Saying “Start A Family” / It’s Offensive / Aye, yai, yai!

The American Empire may be the first empire in history to implode on itself due to multiple effects of psychological neoteny. 

At first I thought the story was a joke…

‘Washingtonian’ Writer Pens The Most Idiotic Column Of All Time / The Daily Wire


The Daily Caller:

Washingtonian magazine senior editor Bill O’Sullivan wants people to stop using the phrase “start a family” because it’s offensive to both single people and couples without children.

h-i7tZ7k unnamed-1

In a piece published Thursday morning, O’Sullivan argues that the phrase “start a family” is “loathsome” because of its implication: children. “What this euphemism means is get pregnant — or try to get pregnant, or have a baby, or adopt,” Sullivan claims.  And that’s offensive.

Start a family devalues any couple who doesn’t happen to have kids, for whatever reason. It even sells single people short, who may not have children but do have ‘chosen’ families of friends,” he argues.

Conspiracy Theorists are right: the Russians have  been contaminating America’s drinking water with “stupid pills” since the end of WWII.

O’Sullivan also points out that the phrase has “heterosexist” roots. He notes that LGBT people now use the phrase as well (implying it might not be “heterosexist” to say “start a family”) but he still hears it “more often from straight people.”

Either way, he says, “For the sake of all the ways to be in the world, it’s time to put an end to ‘start a family.’”

Also on O’Sullivan’s list of words to stop saying: “female.” He quotes a reader who told him that the word sounds “sounds like biology class.” For this reason, O’Sullivan agrees, the word should be avoided because it’s “dehumanizing.”




More Myths about Aspergers / Traditional Abuse


In recent reporting for Indian Country Today, Mary Annette Pember tells the story of these tiny handcuffs, which have only lately been brought out of storage at the Haskell Indian Nations University‘s Cultural Center and Museum in Lawrence, Kan.

In the late 19th century and the first half of the 20th, Native American children often attended government-run boarding schools where the objective was assimilation. Army officer Richard Pratt, who founded one such school in Pennsylvania, famously said that his mission was to “kill the Indian … and save the man.”

Let all that is Asperger in you die!

From: A site that peddles summer camp for Asperger kids

Bright Lights, Loud Noises

People with Asperger Syndrome often have to deal with extreme sensitivities to everyday sights, sounds, smells and touch. This sensitivity is not one of their “official symptoms” as described in the Physician’s Desk Reference doctors use for diagnoses. However, there are thousands of parent and therapist’s anecdotes about this condition. (Common error – one cannot turn anecdotes into fact by adding more anecdotes.)  Some experts (those phantom experts again!) believe that while sensitivity may cause Aspies to tantrum and act out” in the first place, after a while such behaviors become learned. Aspies hold on to them because of the rigidity of their personalities. (Of course! Meltdowns are SO MUCH FUN that we “throw tantrums” just for fun.)Nevertheless, certain studies indicate that between 42% and 88% (meaningless use of imaginary statistics – which have spread like plague in the U.S.) of people with Asperger Syndrome do experience such sensitivities.

Who knows? We’re all just guessing what goes on inside these strange kids.

Hearing problems are the most common. (Do we know this? No. A sensory problem may be due to different processing of information by the brain.)  Some Aspies seem to hear sounds others do not. They can be driven to distraction by noises everyone else filters out, such as the buzz of fluorescent lights or the brush of corduroy against a desk. The inability to filter out background noises makes it hard for many Aspies to follow conversations or listen to their teachers’ directions. Some sounds seem actually painful to Aspies. (Subjecting detainees to intense and harmful sound is used in the “torture” community) For example, a small child may scream at the sound of the vacuum cleaner (so do cats and dogs); a teen covers his ears at the sound of a police siren. One little boy was so scared of the fire drill siren he sat in fear that it would go off. His mother had to home school him during Fire Safety Month. Auditory sensitivity makes it hard for parents to take their Aspies to noisy places like video arcades or restaurants with singing waiters, etc. (We can see from this list of trivial complaints the enormous emphasis neurotypicals place on social obedience. If it’s a severe inconvenience to avoid a restaurant that has singing waiters, you probably don’t care much about your child.)

Taste and Smell: Many experts conclude that Aspies rely more on their senses of smell and taste than sight and hearing. (Actually, many Aspies are visual thinkers.)They have strong memories of smells; for example, they may be able to recognize people by their unique body odors. Certain smells like food, cleaning fluids, perfumes, shampoos and lotions can make them nauseous. This makes it hard for them to handle routine places like the school cafeteria or shopping mall cosmetic counters. (Asperger and other children may simply react to environmental pollutants and toxins – like canaries in a coal mine – sensitive to chemical compounds that are harmful to all humans. Again, if you think that toxic environments are GOOD FOR children, you don’t care about children!)

An Aspie’s acute sense of smell and taste may also create eating problems. She may limit herself to certain foods, eat one food at a time, not allow foods to touch on her plate, and so forth. Many Aspies vomit easily. Everyday substances like toothpaste can make them sick to their stomachs. (Again, the rigid requirement that there is only one way to eat – typical cultural narcissism. The incredible generalization from “one child’s” behavior to many or most is ridiculous – but that’s what bigots do.)

Touch: Aspies may be overly or under-sensitive to touch. (In all the articles I have read that insist on this “over” and “under” sensitivity, none have presented, or referred to, a scale that defines and describes “normal” sensitivity. (In fact, this utter lack of objective criteria is characteristic of Asperger research and publications.) If overly sensitive, he may find tags on clothing very irritating. He may only wear certain fabrics or clothes that are old and soft from washings. He may refuse to work with certain textures like glue. He screams in the shower because he cannot stand the feel of water on his skin. One Aspie would hit anyone who touched him: a fact that his little brother manipulated to get him in trouble all the time. (Gee; I wonder – does this child hit when “touched” because his parents allow his brother to bully him, and do nothing about it, and indeed, blame him? There is nothing to confirm that these behaviors are common to / restricted to Asperger children – one would have to prove that NO NORMAL CHILD displays these behaviors.)

Hyposensitivity can cause Aspies not to feel or report pain. They may not react to temperatures. One Aspie did not respond whenever his teacher tapped him to get his attention. (Anecdotes – Please stop. The very real impact of these “trivia” anecdotes is that a parent who reads this endless garbage will suddenly “discover” that behavior in his or her child, and be convinced that he/she is defective!)

Visual problems are less common. Perhaps only one in five persons with Asperger Syndrome has them. However, some Aspies get upset by certain pictures, colors or bright lights. Some experience colors as sounds. They often stand too close to others or stare at them inappropriately. They can search for an object and not notice that it is right in front of them. The majority of Aspies have problems making eye contact with other people. (Random anecdotes and myth after myth are repeated without question.  Neurotypicals are narrow-minded narcissists. Can you imagine substituting “black children, or Hispanic children” in this litany of complaints?) 

Proprioceptive and Vestibular disorders: These are about orienting yourself in space, keeping your body in balance and maintaining good posture and movement. In normal people, a complex network of nerves works together with the senses naturally. You can sit down without looking at your chair. You know where your feet are. You know how to straighten your shirt without looking into a mirror. Aspies have problems with such abilities that operate on the unconscious level for normal people. This makes simple activities such as climbing stairs feats that must be learned. (This is outrageous ignorance: ALL HUMAN infants and children must learn to chew, stand up, walk, climb stairs and control their bowels/urination etc. Also, to learn language and to THINK, which many modern social humans never accomplish)  Activities that involve complex movements, changes in speed and hand-eye coordination such as handwriting or playing baseball become nightmares for many Aspies.  (Again, this implies that all neurotypical children are automatically capable of every “approved and prescribed” human activity, which is untrue.)

Unfortunately, one can hear the echoes of “complaints” about Native American children, who were kidnapped and imprisoned in missionary schools, in order to be “made normal” by human-hating Christian tyrants.


Think this “child abuse” is long gone?





Unraveling Asperger’s and Pain / “Normalizing” Chronic Misery

I don’t like to rely solely on my experiences to unravel what might be going on with Asperger types, but sometimes it’s all one has. We read that Asperger individuals either over react to pain and discomfort, or will not notice pain at all. Another of those “gotcha” symptoms in which we are either “over or under” the “normal” human behavior or experience, but in the case of pain, which is a subjective experience, what is “normal”?

Now is a good time to think about this, since I have a toothache (not another root canal!) and severe allergies. I’m a mess. I hate being sick; I’m very active and have trouble staying in bed or on the couch, resting as one should.

Questions arise. What was I like as a kid whenever some illness like the flu was going around? The plot thickens: how did my parents behave toward us (I had an older brother) when the inevitable sick days that kids have, came round?

Not good! My brother was six years older and from my point of view, was babied. He always had something “mysterious or nebulous” going on, and that meant staying home from school or being spared from regular tasks and chores that he didn’t want to do. This was very bad; by the time I arrived, a dysfunctional triad of parent-child relationships was already in place.

You say you're sick? PROVE IT

You say you’re sick? PROVE IT

The short story is that my brother received gifts, toys and attention if ill, but I was punished. If I said I didn’t feel well, I had to prove it; have a measurable fever, be vomiting or otherwise possessed of some obvious bug going around school, and parents had been asked to keep symptomatic kids at home. I wasn’t allowed out of bed, or to have books or toys. Although my mother was merely peeved or angry with me, when my Asperger father came home, he  would state how he never became ill (it was true) and that illness was a sign of weakness and failure; why wasn’t I like him?  This message came through loud and clear and has been a negative influence – absolutely. When unwell, I have to fight feelings of inadequacy and failure, and a residue of abandonment. It’s ridiculous.

Here’s the question: Is this cruel message served up by my father a product of Asperger’s, or is it something else? Although his attitude was obviously hurtful, I also knew my father’s story: he had been a premature twin and his brother died at birth. He  was not expected to live, but he pulled through.  My father’s childhood had been a living Hell of beatings and hard work on the farm, dished out as tough love by his father in order to make him strong. In one of those “tragic” outcomes, my father ended up being a highly fit and healthy adult. Tragic, because he believed his father’s cruelty was responsible for his good health.

I attribute my father’s survival to having good care as an infant, and good genes, not magic or cruelty. If a premature baby survived in the 1910s, long before the elaborate interventions of today’s medical devices and drugs, he or she had to have had a package of healthy provisions on board, just to survive the first year. I was stuck with a mystery; was my father a product of nature, or “severe” nurturing?

It just wasn’t my father’s nature to be cruel. His weak – strong theory of life descended like a dark curtain when issues of vulnerability appeared. Otherwise he was generous with his time and attention and I primarily remember that side of my father. Unfortunately, he had no insight into the brutal treatment he endured as a child, and let’s face it, American males are subject to the irrational fear of being labeled as “weak” or “like a girl” – a fear intensively cultivated by American culture, then and now. And, the outcome for my brother being spoiled, was that it left him entirely dependent on my parents, but some “ill-treatment” did prepare me for an  independent life; the challenges were great, but made me an adult – slowly, but at least I made it.

It is my view, after two years of reading and thinking about Asperger’s, especially the bizarre dogma of psychology, medical information, and anecdotal references, that Asperger’s is a personality or temperament type, characterized by an intellectual focus, that is simply not socially-oriented, but attuned to the physical world: sensory attention, logic based, not word-supernatural based.

Conformity institutions (like psychology, corporations, religions and schools) simply cannot tolerate people who think for themselves. It’s the old story of domestication: dogs are useful to humans because they “work for food” and “adjust to” cruelty from humans, because – mostly they have no choice, and have been bred to various  behaviors like extreme herding behavior or tracking of drugs, criminals or lost people – exploitations of their more accurate and extensive sensory abilities. A lucky few (?) become family, and are classified as “pets” – literally, we stroke and hug them, overfeed them bad food, and lock them in tiny apartments, basements or porches, abandoning them for long hours. Many breeds have been literally deformed to physically fulfill the awful constraints of being substitute infants for infantile people: purposely deformed, as if we were acceptable to “create” humans with severe physical distortions and disabilities, because it satisfies some warped idea of “cuteness”.

The desire for lifeforms to be either perverted to do work – or to be enslaved as “cute social objects – status symbols” is domestication.

Wolves are despised and exterminated because they can’t be tamed; they remain free to be competing predators. Myth, fairytales and fabrications place wolves close to the devil. It’s not true; like any competing predator species, they have been hunted by human predators to near extinction.

There is no doubt that humans have domesticated humans: slavery is “forced ” domestication followed by sexual selection from the “survivors”. The designation of an individual, or group, or class of humans as having “potential” to be tamed – that is, be forced to work without resistance, as dogs and horses and other animal laborers do,   has always been paramount. Humans were selected just as animals were, to be reshaped into “useful” tame forms. Over thousands of years of this “civilizing” process, the owners of grand cities and the agricultural and manufacturing systems necessary to their existence, simply exterminated all things wild and increasingly cultivated submissive behavior, just as we continue to do today.

The relentless selection of human form and abilities “useful” to the predatory hierarchy changed humans into “specialized” organisms; varieties of people that have become “natural” to us – the class system as it exists today, in which domestic types – peasants, wage slaves; the middle and low classes; immigrants, and others who do the “shit work” for the upper and ruling classes, are fed scraps from the economic table because like dogs, they have been bred to this condition, which no “wild human” could or would, tolerate.

Pain and its subjective experience by individuals is a tricky subject when you look into it. We are amazed and frightened by the “dangers” that wild animals live with 24 / 7 – but we forget that “pain” in nature is usually swift and brief: a few seconds to a few hours – and the animal has either recovered, been “finished off” or has died of stress; lack of water, blood loss and shock.

The human “domestic” condition may be seen as far worse. Someone said, “The problem with humans is that they will put up with anything.” One of the most obvious “changes” to the human animal has been the development of tolerance of very bad treatment by other humans, not unlike the dog that is chained to a post or fence, day after day, with little or no food, a dirty bucket of water (if that) and is expected to demonstrate “wild affection” at the appearance of its tormentor.

Human empathy, compassion or kindness? The system provides relief, but not freedom, and an “easy” new form of slavery – to religion, to drugs, to alcohol, to violent punishment and sadistic entertainment; to hopelessness and lies. Pain in humans is not swift; it is chronic and lifelong. Pain is stretched out over decades, and declared to be “progress” when medical intervention patches people up, so that they can return to fulfilling their role in the social hierarchy. Pain does not go away; it is a protracted state of dependency cultivated by the hierarchy. “Modern pain” is a result of domestication, which has become panhuman, and is “considered” to be normal; pain and mental suffering have been socialized.

The “idea” of pain, despite the knowledge that this is a highly subjective and variable physical experience, is so controlled by social rules that Asperger types are classified as defective, because “supposedly” our experience of pain is “abnormal” – that is, we do not respond like domesticated animals; we do not respond with compliance to pain applied as punishment and control: our “reactivity” falls outside the imposed parameters of “being suitable for use as a slave.” We “leave” – physically if possible, and we suffer greatly if we can’t. Withdrawal into a better world that exists in nature and which satisfies our curiosity and need to acquire knowledge (denigrated as  obsessions by neurotypicals) is a healthy reaction – too healthy for society to tolerate.


Neoteny / Blame it on Japan

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I have spent some serious time trying to understand the roots of American psychological juvenalization-infantalization, because it “happened” during my lifetime, which is not that many years, and yet neotenic trends are driving contemporary behavior and failure.

“Neoteny” (I use neoteny here not scientifically, but as the tag for juvenile-infantile behavior in what ought to be proto or full adults) is a process that has been veiled by political upheaval from the 1960s until the present day; no one has talked seriously about the phenomenon until recently, but psychological childishness is rampant in our behavior and beliefs. Economically it’s a bonanza promoted by corporations and exploited by the market. Politicians pander to juvenile insecurity and need for attention.

My generation discovered that the “world” (having just been saved from Fascism by our parents) was still at war – the Cold War – about the time we popped out of baby-narcissism and into elementary consciousness at school. We were not spared reality by parents and teachers: our tender and innocent childhood years were spent waiting for the worst death imaginable to fall from the sky, without warning, giving us but a few minutes to cower under our school desks and imagine what was coming – incineration of everything we knew; parents, friends, our school and town, the United States, and perhaps most of the life on earth. Videos, posters and TV programs made annihilation both present and inevitable.

Despite the propaganda of American stability and supremacy, there really was nothing solid under our feet.

Existential anxiety? Long term effects? Denial would soon blossom into decades of sex, drugs and rock n roll.

Over the intervening years deep changes have occurred in the American mind. We live today in a scary state of incompetence with politicians vowing to resurrect “greatness.” That’s hard to do when a nation of 300 million people no longer comprehends what simple adult behavior requires: humility, sacrifice, personal integrity. What bizarre and forgotten qualities  these Old-fashioned words represent.

At one point I began to think that perhaps Soviet agents had managed to put “dumb pills” in municipal water supplies, but now I think I have identified the true cause of diminished American mental abilities: A massive influx of neotenic toys and images from Japan during the 1960s.





Asperger Hell / Social Interaction Re-Post

This problem was solved, but the “process” is relevant for almost any Asperger female attempt to negotiate NT male behavior. 

Can I trust a 1972 Chevy truck to be my one and only means of transportation?IMG_0975wp real

A week of dealing with vehicle problems has left me exhausted; it’s not organizing solutions and repairs, but the extensive conversations with people. Since I’m a “little old lady” and not a natural mechanic, nor do I have the familiarity with all things mechanical that some men have. Where I live jobs are not white collar, but blue collar mining and other resource extraction: I depend on energetic and honest “guys” for help, who are luckily, common in Wyoming. But…

Vehicles are life and death and absolutely essential for “work = money” in our “empty region” so, when I need help the “panic” factor is always involved. I have found that no matter how simple a problem may be, the world of vehicle repair is not immune to SNAFUs; the cost will always be higher than expected; obtaining parts can involve extensive searches, and I don’t do well sitting at home waiting for “call you back” calls that never happen. Being passive is HELL for me.

I know that the mechanic will never call: there is some “social ritual” involved. I don’t thinks it’s malicious, but “guys who can do real things” know that they hold power over everyone who can’t (college idiots). Plumbers, electricians, any practical skill – the best  one can hope for is that the job is done correctly and the cost is less than three months worth of mortgage payments.  But, as an Asperger, I know to ask thorough questions, even if a “stupid question” might be embarrassing. The mechanics in this case jumped on the “solution” of selling my other truck to them (the Dodge) to avoid an expensive fuel pump replacement, and gave a real low-ball offer.

Not so fast: a woman must remember that males can be genuinely helpful, but at the same time believe that women are inferiors in the social hierarchy and legitimate easy targets.

Asperger females do their homework!

It may take one day to resolve my current vehicle dilemma: it may take weeks. Once the Asperger brain starts an analytic process, time ceases. The optimum plan of action must be worked out in the intuitive arena. Right now I’m only at the opening stage of  vacuuming up relevant info. Scanning for a scenario that makes sense. Of course, at times I’m terribly wrong in making decisions – usually because I’m socially inept and easily blindsided by behavior that I can’t comprehend! Like mean people choosing to be mean, just for the fun of being mean. Or a person  whose job it is to screw up other peoples’ lives, everyday – and they love their jobs.

Ask, ask, ask questions. Men like to show off what they know, in case there is a woman alive who hasn’t noticed.

Being persistent means that you’ll succeed in 1. finding out if the “reality guy” knows his job. 2. His attitude toward women 3. Can he describe the specific work to be done and assign a cost to that work? 4. Will he write up an invoice for labor charges and parts before starting work? 5. Will he save the “bad parts” and show them to you? 6. Can he agree to do these things without going berserk?

It’s not that “reality guys” don’t do this “social ritual” with other NT men. Most men today know nothing about cars and trucks and are at the mercy of mechanics and high-tech design that forces consumers to pay outrageous prices for parts and repair. Case in point: New fuel pump 72 Chevy – $25.00. Estimate for the Dodge? $300. + labor. So, for my specific needs, can I get by with the Chevy – cheap and easy to repair – and sell the Dodge, which as it sits, needs a total of $1800. in repairs?

It all comes back to, how much $$ can I get for the Dodge?

Oh dear. The owner of the auto shop just called (surprise!). First dance: he wants the truck, but I’m not interested in his low-ball price, and said so. Then came the  manipulation / negotiation: He wants to give my truck to his teenage son. I’m supposed to say, Awwww. I’m a sucker for kids; you are being a great Dad, so of course I’ll sell it to you for nothing and screw myself.

This is what I find exhausting! My decision-making style is disconnected from social typical “warfare” in which someone “wins” and someone “looses”. My brain goes blank; Asperger blank at this proposition. I hate having to negotiate in the coercive manner that is normal for social typicals. It’s demeaning for both parties. I don’t dislike this guy, but I know that even if he “likes” me, given the opportunity, he will “beat me up” over the price and do his best to make me “feel bad” about my end of the deal, (I got ripped off) and I won’t feel “good” about any part of this “social ritual”.

The next Asperger step? Avoid decision. Stall. Be a Mule. And these behaviors, while attributed by psychologists to a “defective brain” are simply a response to being hurried, pushed or manipulated. Aspergers are thoughtful and careful people who are exhausted by social warfare.

UPDATE: My neighbor bought the fuel pump for the Dodge and did the replacement in 30 minutes vs. the 5 HOURS estimated by the mechanic. Savings? $500.