The Harvey Weinstein Scandal.
I haven’t commented about this event for good reason: It’s no surprise; its the status quo. The Harvey Weinsteins of the world are abundant and in fact are the definition of Top Predators at the apex of the traditional “Pharaoh, King, Despot, Tyrant” social pyramid.
One fundamental “perk” of this position, its attraction, its status, is that “females” are a “reward” for top males. In fact, the license to commit all sorts of bad behavior, without fear of punishment or consequences, comes with the job. This impunity is “enabled” by the “followers” of the top male, who gain their status via his ability to reward them with jobs, power, status, with “the life” of privilege they covet. So simple.
The list of these males is well-known by everyone: Jack Kennedy and Bill Clinton are terrific recent examples as well as “lesser perverts” like those who selfie their penises for the entire internet to see. In fact, “getting away with” sexual predation, recovering from a scandal, and continuing to be “acceptable to society” (Bill Clinton) is the test of the Top, Top, Male. Mere “perverts” are hustled off into oblivion.
So why does everyone “pretend” to be shocked?
Top predators fall; they get old, and become annoying to too many people – they are “in the way” of those who want the job, and become a liability to the corporation, nation, institution, political party or family. The bad behavior that was hidden, covered up, cleaned up and excused by the “powers in waiting” are then used to topple the asshole.
For the Top Predator, and his social enablers, it is the Infinite game; the defining system that “tells them” who they are and confirms the extreme measure of their success. The tawdry show of “mea culpa” (we knew, complied, but against our will; afraid for our jobs, families to support, blah, blah blah) is disgusting, phony and – socially acceptable. The top predator that they lionized and praised for 30-40 years, staff who literally “ate the gourmet crumbs from his table” is suddenly a “monster” of immense scale. Rats leave a sinking ship.
Henry the VIII is a superb example of a serial abuser and killer of women, who had his “staff” do the procuring of eligible young women, (often the most unsavory types themselves), men protected and utilized by the Top Monster. To these strivers fell the task of the actual murders. Is it any different today? In degree – not in patterns of behavior. Today the “women” get “paid off” in the traditional conclusion of such matters: hush money. Many turn the “horrible incident” into career-boosting compliance. Most suffer in silence. But why?
Anne of Cleves took the “pay off”, kept her mouth shut, and saved her life.
This is not “blaming the victim”- outlining the simple and obvious “game” is acknowledgement of the Top Male Predator model of “leadership” that social humans have embraced for thousands of years.
The parade of women now “confessing” their trauma in public #metoo testimonials, has resulted in mixed reactions and thoughts on the part of this Asperger female. Emotionally, existentially, its tough: these are “universal” experiences for all women. My mother was sexually abused as a child; she hid the facts her entire life, without acknowledging the “reality” to anyone. But the consequences were there, just the same. Dysfunction in the family; secrets, depression, anger, lack of proper mothering and being a partner for my father. As a female, this “conundrum” was devastating.
I never would have judged her, as she imagined that we, her family, would do. I wanted her to be happy. But I learned as I grew into “femalehood” that nothing I could do would please her, distract her or heal her trauma. She indeed tried to undermine any success I achieved by attacking my “lack of femininity” – her opinion of which (and society’s also) is being a compliant and passive victim of “male rule”.
One result of this childhood dilemma? I converted the “infinite” game of social reality into finite encounters with those who seek to victimize women.
As a young woman who found herself in social situations, notably work environments that were overwhelmingly male, it was immediately “presented to me” that females are simply targets of sexual predation, and “you’d better get used to it.” The real shock to me, was that “nice guys” – those pleasant, hardworking dads and providers, were expected to be predators, as well as the “bosses”. The pressure on them was enormous to “prove” that they weren’t “women-lovers” – “pansies, softies, pussy-whipped” etc.
I didn’t hate the men “doing” this to women; to them it was normal and required. They were all taught to hate women in order to become male. Many openly conveyed that they “hated” the whole system of male-female antagonism, but they “put up with it” to “get along”. I just let them know that I was not a prey animal.
So, there I was. What to do?
The regular “pot-shots” that were a tactic of a certain male type (spray the woods with a shotgun blast; maybe you’ll hit a deer) were easily deflected: nothing personal or “creepy” was intended. Mostly it was “show and no go” for purposes of displaying “maleness” to the other guys. Usually, calling their bluff was sufficient to scare the Hell out of them (what if the wife found out) and produced a quick retreat. For a few, though, this practice was more serious – testing the “deer” for weakness. We didn’t call these men “wolves” for no reason.
And then there were the “big problem” men. Creepy, sneaky, overtly mild and friendly, perhaps fatherly, even supportive of one’s talent and abilities, in an ocean of put downs and resistance to the very idea of a female presence in the office. And – often having “something to offer in trade” by being higher up in the male “gang” structure. Bosses.
What do you do with a snake? Cut its head off.
Workplaces are easy environments in which to do this; everyone can “hear” you, and anything novel spreads like wild fire. Embarrass the SOB. These are “covert predators” and do not want to be exposed to humiliation or possible consequences. Make a scene immediately. Be like the “alarm animals” that reside in every forest; squawk like a gang of monkeys who spot the jaguar, lion or other predator, and warn the other prey species of the intrusion. This is a “finite” game. It ends the episode and will also warn other women to be prepared – a sexual predator is present.
It works. A Top Male has a lot to loose, and he is surrounded by plenty of “frenemies” just waiting for the the “right moment” to cut him down.
No harm in giving them ammunition!
Do not whine, complain, act weak, become a “pain in the ass” or expect members of the “social conspiracy” – that is, Human Resources to come to your rescue. It’s their job to protect the status quo. You will be abused; loose your job and gain a reputation, and accomplish little, unless, of course, you are after a monetary settlement.
The media and social media are clamoring incessantly that “this scandal is finally the end” of this type of sexual abuse – things have changed “forever”. This is both propaganda and incredible naiveté: Infinite Social Games have no end.
“Optimism is cowardice.”
I love this scene; it so vividly portrays those split second reactions, decisions, choices – attitudes or indecisions, (the girl) that pivot one toward life or death…