Interstellar Travel and Colonization / Sane or Neurotypical?

If “we” are determined to have real “live” members of Homo sapiens travel to another planet in order to colonize that planet, just how would we achieve that? Sending “live” humans is terribly inefficient and more than difficult- Even if they were freeze dried (or whatever) once they were “resurrected” they would eventually kill each other off, and we’d have a $20-trillion tomb lost in space.

Okay: We’ll send a ship full of robots. The robots, if and when they arrived at a planet or a moon having a “habitable zone for organic life” would design life forms that are suitable to that planet’s physical environments. Or – maybe we ought to choose a planet with no “native” life at all. No need to exterminate the local flora and fauna; let the robots find an energy source to power themselves and they can sit around for eternity doing…what? Watching TV shows made by and for themselves; sitcoms about robots sitting around doing nothing but “monitoring” their energy infrastructure.

And what’s the likelihood that if these robots are “equipped” with humanlike awareness and personalities that they will be made in the image of competitive predatory males and psycho-killer “boys with boobs” just like Home? Haven’t we exhausted that terrible cartoon version of Homo sapiens here on Earth?

The Robot mission might be to plant “a DNA garden” and move on. Too rational: we want “people like us” to populate the universe, even if that means screwing up one or more planets or entire star systems.

We all know that no sane option will fulfill the “narcissistic destiny” of mankind, even if that means we’re stuck sending “human” cyborgs across the Milky Way, or billionaires’ heads stored in jars, ready to take over a planet we’ve creatively named Earth2 and to “employ” any advanced life form that will accept minimum wage; no benefits or healthcare. Every stinking piece of the ship will have corporate logos stuck to it, just in case a passing craft driven by Little Green Men wants to order bar-b-que in a box and a beach umbrella: Amazon delivers.

If a sane person were in charge of this expedition, no male would EVER be allowed to enter the exploratory / colonization craft. No sane “designer” would use critical space, energy and supplies to haul a 200 lb. “sperm can” through space. Add the testosterone-violence factor and any space ship will be restricted to females. Think about it: one human male; one Y DNA contribution. No way: thousands of sperm samples would be rigidly screened for genetic health and diversity and confined to a sperm bank. Choice: thousands of sperm lines in one 200 lb. can, or one sperm line in one 200 lb. can. No brainer.

Watch out Universe; we’re on our way!

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A ship run by robots that “look” human – better yet, robots that look like Hello Kitty, Golden Lab puppies, Barbie and Ken. Throw in a dozen Terminator/psycho Sarah Connors and the Matrix “insect” people. And make the ship look just like the Death Star: no, A Magic Castle! Don’t forget Mr. Spock, Captain Kirk  and the entire crew and every character that ever appeared on any episode of any incarnation of Star Trek. (The indigenous aliens have “for sure” seen every episode by now)

And imagine all the “Real Housewives of Planet X” spin offs coming to cable TV in a zillion years from now! Wow!

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Let’s send robots that look like this That would be funny!

 Any aliens (Oops! We’ll be the aliens) we encounter are going to LUV us!

 

 

 

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