How to Socialize Little Kids? Threaten Them.

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Note how “honest observation, opinion and facts” are characterized as “dirty water” containing “dirt and germs” – The child’s true opinion or feelings are always bad. The focus is placed entirely on “other people’s feelings” Is it any surprise that American children are obsessed with social opinion and possess the self-confidence of door mats?

The message is that a child must always lie to protect other people’s feelings. How bizarre! The truth is believed to always “hurt” people’s feelings, not help them to feel better! This is the social command, regardless of whether or not a person’s feelings are justified, immoral, destructive, ridiculous or unrealistic.

But wait! There’s more:

“Your SOCIAL FILTER helps you:

Protect a friend’s feelings. (Threat of abandonment)

Save you from being embarrassed. (Threat of humiliation.)

Show respect to adults in charge. (Obedience to authority)

Stay out of trouble. (Threat of punishment)

AND…….

Social Filter is ON: Thinking about other people’s feelings. Using kind, friendly words.

Social Filter OFF: Only thinking about myself. I’m not trying to protect other people’s feelings. I might embarrass myself.

Is it surprising that school children are failing academically? A surprise that religious “beliefs” can’t be questioned and that science is discredited?

Is it surprising that Americans are afraid of “hurting the feelings” of criminals and terrorists and fail to notify police or the FBI of suspicious activity? Or that child abuse is so rarely reported by victims?

 

 

 

 

 

 

4 thoughts on “How to Socialize Little Kids? Threaten Them.

  1. This one is a toughy as a mother. I have tried to tell my children the truth – as far as I understand it (something that means that I am most likely teaching them lies). One of those truths was that people lie a lot and why they choose to lie and how they lie.
    Then we have worked on how to tell the truth and answer direct questions as kindly as possible. If there has been no kind way, I have told them to resort to the question “are you really sure you want to hear what I have to say?”.
    I have also taught them when to lie, how to lie and why they would have to lie.
    As I see it, most of the things we teach our children have propaganda behind it. I might not be able to see through that propaganda, but propaganda it is. And propaganda probably always lies. Once we go looking for it, we see it everywhere. Yet I doubt we see it all.
    Not lying is impossible, as I see it. But lying less is certainly achievable. People just have to want to see through the BS. Most don’t, because that would mean losing their rose-tinted glasses. Perhaps that is one of the larger differences between ASDs and non-ASDs. We don’t mind the truth once we understand it.

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    • What makes me sick is telling children that what is genuinely “theirs” – their thoughts, opinions and true feelings are “dirty” – that is child abuse. Imagine never loving yourself; being yourself; expressing yourself.

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      • I do not understand parents who behave like that. I truly do not. I have know quite a few women and men who have had parents like that and sadly reproduction is difficult to fight. If not for my husband, I would have reproduced much more from my parents than I have. The good I like, but there is always shitty stuff that needs deleting.

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