Personal comments on being Asperger and female

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Originally posted Dec. 2015. Didn’t need to do much updating…

What do we really understand about being human?

Officially the diagnosis of Asperger has been removed from the DSM, but the “state” of being Asperger persists: Asperger-type people continue to see themselves as a group who are different to other people. Not just a little different, but having a specific set of dramatic differences. I don’t like to call these differences symptoms, nor do I think Asperger’s can be placed on an “invented” autism spectrum, a construct convenient for those who diagnose, treat, and get paid for being “autism experts.”

In fact, the more I read about autism, the less I can logically apply autism characteristics to the Asperger Way of Being: our brain is focused on the literal physical universe and strives to understand “how things work”. Our perception / processing is especially attuned to patterns and connections “invisible” to the social brain. Modern social typicals or “neurotypicals” are confined to socially constrained “value pyramids” that actively suppress factual information and require conformity to manmade “word-concept reality.”

Female Aspergers are a recently recognized phenomena; we do manifest our Aspergerness differently to males. We tend to learn and use language more easily and effectively than males, but females are judged by a very narrow and strict definition of femininity, and at the first sign of noncompliance, girls are harshly criticized and relentlessly pressured to become “normal” socially-obsessed girls, often with deeply damaging consequences for developing our true identity: scars made early in childhood impair self-fulfillment as females over a lifetime.

The Asperger brain is radically different: asking a child to change their innate personality is cruel. Imagine telling a female child that she is not a “real girl” merely due to her interest in logic, science, mathematics – or visual arts, and preference for “real knowledge”. The Asperger girl is punished for choices as mundane as comfortable clothing and “active” toys. “Act like a girl” is a mystifying and nonsensical directive pounded into us from birth. We are girls – no one has a right to deny that fact.

How many times have I had to insist, “I am a girl and this is how I behave; therefore this is how a girl behaves.”

Logic has no effect on irrational people, who merely repeat whatever they have been told to believe and say by those higher up on the “human status” pyramid. The very act of questioning supernatural (word-concept) assumptions, (which Asperger children do frequently) brings forth angry rejection and social exile. Anyone who cannot see the trauma inflicted on a child by the outright rejection of a child as “not really human – subhuman in fact, needs to examine their personal beliefs about empathy, compassion and what human beings mean to each other. Even though I was a strong-willed and confident child, I grew up with a nagging anxiety that pursuing my intelligence and curiosity – my identity – put me on the wrong side of a fence that divided unacceptable female humans from everyone else.

The question I repeatedly asked: How could anyone believe that sex and gender have anything to do with natural curiosity, learning, thinking and self-expression?

Why is it okay for boys to pursue a career of their choosing, but girls are exceptional and abnormal for wanting the same fulfillment? Why are boys say allowed to say things that girls are forbidden to say? Why are boys encouraged to test their limits, but girls must settle for a highly scripted (and unhealthy) inferior female life? Why is it okay to be smart in school, but once a girl walks out the door she must hide her intelligence, and indeed pretend (physically and mentally) to be merely a servile sexual being, because that’s what the social order demands? In my case, being pretty only compounded the insults : pretty girls were meant to be trophy wives and I was “defacing” that role by insisting on being someone in my own right.

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In many ways, the “disorder” of being a female Asperger comes down to the sin of being intelligent, logical, curious, ambitious, and not amenable to being social when social means abandoning the best of yourself to a hierarchy of unequal opportunity and a straightjacket of prescribed behavior. Beauty isn’t skin deep, but society wants women to be surfaces, without any inconvenient depth.

I was given my physical and mental attributes at birth (that’s opportunity) and in my value system, it is my obligation to develop those attributes thoughtfully, carefully and sanely because that’s what life offers every living creature. To be human is to unfold our destiny, personally and collectively, just as every component of the universe is in a state of “becoming what it becomes”.  A wolf becomes a wolf, a sunflower a sunflower, a star a star, a woman a woman. That is equality; that is fulfillment.

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9 thoughts on “Personal comments on being Asperger and female

    • Hmmm…may relate to my “guess” that the Asperger brain type survives from pre-agricultural hunter-gatherers or what I call “wild” humans. Not as a total package, but certainly visual thinking, which is adaptive to living in “nature” – detailed, literal, concrete and pattern processing. The modern social brain is domesticated/juvenalized (neotenic). This became necessary as humans urbanized – people were selected for tameness, especially females. The consequence is that their word-concept (supernatural) brain disregards physical reality. They are stuck in magical thinking (a childhood stage). Modern social humans have been doing their utmost to eradicate “wild humans” for the last 10,000 years. Aspergers are still a “target” of (the pseudoscience) psychology, which labels us “defective.” My blog repeatedly critiques psychology as a religion that seeks to limit human potential. As a geologist, I look at all this as tied to the environment, which is the engine of evolution and deep history – the notion of modern humans as the culmination of evolution is nonsense!

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    • Hmmm….after looking into this, I see little internal consistency in the photos presented as particular “types.” I’m not surprised: neurotypicals have little ability to distinguish faces (police line ups, eyewitness testimony, bait and switch tests) in which two entirely different individuals can be identified as the same person. It’s due to “inattentional blindness” – it’s so bad that U.S. courts are considering removing eyewitness accounts as testimony. From what I see on the web, this “typing” has become a game that people play, not dissimilar to the desire to pump up one’s importance by finding “Vikings” in ones DNA or genealogy. I know that a serious effort also exists to “figure out” European migration history, and I posted some recent genetic info that adds to the timing of peopling Europe.

      I’ve looked at thousands of faces from all over the world during the last year, and even as a highly detailed visual observer, a “drift” happens: at first one sees details of faces and any two will strike one as being quite different, but as observation goes on, a “visual catalogue” builds up, and individuals look more and more the same across vast regions of the planet. It becomes obvious that extraneous objects such as context, hair, grooming, clothing, facial expression and camera angle and image quality really interfere with interpretation. That is, even as an Asperger, I don’t trust my eyes in this endeavor. Any two humans have complex non-matching genomes, so what we don’t see often overrides appearances.

      And significantly for Neanderthals, what did Neanderthals look like? We don’t know. Every artist who creates a reconstruction comes up with an entirely different animal from the same bones. Since humans are so biased, it might be useful to have a paleo-artist who reconstructs dinosaurs take a crack at it.

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  1. After i’ve seen pictures of you i’d classify your phenotype as Faelid/Borreby-Nordid) or Bruenn.

    The problem with understanding ourselves will get better, when all unnecessary materialistic values fall off and life as so human life starts to get in the center of understanding. Also equally all life on planet Earth.

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  2. Beautifully put and another razorsharp observation molded into a pleasant writing!

    Could the woman-stereotype have anything to do with the christian values and roots?

    I love your writing! 🙂

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    • Oh yes, Christianity in the U.S. for sure, but women are treated badly in so many cultures. I am actually grateful that I was born in the U.S because it is possible to defy the mainstream without incurring physical punishment or being forced into marriage! What I see in the U.S is that women are “bullied” into conformity and don’t take advantage of the legal rights we do have. And often it’s other women who do the bullying! Being Asperger really intensifies the rejection. One reason I live in Wyoming is that there is a long tradition of equal rights; pioneer women had to work very hard on ranches and take on a lot of responsibility; they were necessary to success of the ranch. So attitudes are far more open than in much of the U.S. And Wyoming is one of the least religious states..thankfully.

      Thanks so much for commenting on my writing; I sit here day after day alone at the computer and it’s good to hear that you like what I’m doing.

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