PARTNER SURVEY RESULTS
Survey of Relationship Experiences of Neurotypicals in, or who have been in an intimate adult relationship with someone who has, or is suspected of having Asperger’s/High functioning autism.
So, it is entirely possible that one or more of the survey respondents is involved with a sociopath, psychopath or “average” social typical male, and not an Asperger.
Conducted by, FAAAS Inc. and J.A. Morgan B.Ed. Grad Dip, July, 2016 © Published online at www.faaas.org and www.theneurotypical.com
This survey comprises 44 replies from 43 women and 1 man who voluntarily responded to advertisements on the internet, mail-outs and support group newsletters during May, June and July, 2016.
The disparate maturity in neuro-developmental levels and milestones is clearly obvious by the neurotypical spouse/partner’s responses to experiences in these relationships. (WOW! Whole lot of “spurious” assumptions and conclusions here! No question as to the developmental maturity of the female spouses! This is a totally “loaded” survey…)
Q 4. Does communication with your partner leave unresolved disputes, unfinished business and unresolved emotional upset?
All respondents, to varying degrees, described communication and dispute resolution failure to be a significant part of their relationship profile and the corporate life of the household.
Q 67. Does the phrase: Death by a thousand paper cuts, express how you feel in your relationship? (WOW! These people are loaded for bear and determined to “blame” Asperger males for whatever is “wrong” in the marriage!)
All respondents, to varying degrees, stated that the phrase expresses how they feel in their relationship. This graphically demonstrates the extreme hardship experienced by neurotypicals in intimate adult relationships with someone who has high functioning autism/Asperger’s. The fact (that) this seems to be unknown to the wider community is an even more serious occurrence. It has been said, “Oil and water do not mix.” (Prof Tony Attwood). In the case of AS/NT relationships this is indeed obviously true. Disparate neuro-developmental levels between the couple cause misery for the neurotypical partner. (Again – a cliché about Asperger “symptoms” is applied to “all Asperger males” – and offered as “the cause” of marital unhappiness, without any inclusion of other factors, alternatives or an acknowledgement of mutual responsibility. Remember, these are people who responded to solicitation for survey participants – a self-selecting group who are more likely than not, eager to “sound off” about their dissatisfaction)
Q 68. Do you think you suffer from Ongoing Traumatic Relationship Syndrome (OTRS)? (Leading question!!)
Thirty-eight respondents replied they experienced the negative effects of their relationship, and six were not sure. This strongly recognizes the conditions of the relationship as greatly stressful for all respondents.
They experienced physical illness and the normal emotional stress reactions of a complicated extremely dysfunctional relationship. This reaction is called OTRS. It is not a mental illness. The respondents were seduced into believing the pre-relationship persona of their partner was true. Respondents found a different outcome when the façade which concealed the reality of Hfa behaviour was revealed soon after the relationship became cemented. (This “persona change” is characteristic of socio-psychopathic personalities and not common to Asperger people, who have extreme difficulty hiding their “Aspergerness” – which is non-manipulative; social behavior that AS people reject!)
Respondents own personality and life style was changed dramatically to accommodate the narrow mandates of the partner with ASD.
In Question 35 Do you feel more like a parent to your partner? (Really? What woman would not answer ‘yes’ to this question?) only one respondent was able to say they never felt like a parent to their partner. Many respondents reported they suffered depression. (Treating another adult as a child is controlling behavior, and often valued as an antidote to fear of losing that person – he or she DEPENDS on me)
Q 20 Have you developed feelings of strong anger arising from what you consider to be injustice and false accusations in your relationship? (That’s ironic!)
Only one respondent replied they did not have anger about the injustice of interactions in the relationship.
Q 57 Do you have unresolved anger about your relationship?
Only one respondent replied they did not have unresolved anger about their relationship.
Q 11. Do you feel loneliness in your relationship?
Only one respondent replied they never feel lonely. They seek solace with other partners. (Nice excuse for infidelity)
Q 27. Do you experience undesired isolation?
All respondents, except one, reported feeling isolated.
Q 29. Do you lead a controlled, narrow social life?
Only two respondents replied their social life has never been narrowed and controlled.
Q 16. Do you feel self-doubt? (About what?)
Only two respondents replied they never felt self-doubt.
Q 41. Have you lost self-esteem?
All respondents have lost self- esteem. (Did these women ever possess healthy self-esteem? Lack of self-esteem is epidemic in social females)
Q 2. Do interactions with your partner leave you feeling a loss of sense of self; insecurity or uncertainty of own reality? (The passive “victimhood” continues.)
Only one respondent replied they never felt insecurity or an uncertainty of their own reality.
Q 60. Do you feel loved during love making and romance?
Only two respondents replied they have warm physical contact and true intimacy. (The assumption is that the female spouse is by default, capable of “true intimacy” when she may actually seek to avoid it by partnering with an unresponsive male.)
Q 14. Does your partner deny your truth? (OMG: this is so vague, over-generalized, prejudicial and utterly subjective nonsense)
Only one replied their truth was never denied.
Q 65. Do you “walk on eggshells” to avoid conflict and keep the peace? (Again – so general to all humans in every relationship and not an Asperger exclusive!)
Only three respondents replied they never felt they needed to tread carefully to avoid conflict.
Q 47. Do you feel an obligation to solve urgent household disasters alone and for your partner?
Only three replied they never felt the obligation to solve urgent problems alone.
Q 42. Do you feel unappreciated by your partner?
Unanimous agreement the respondents felt unappreciated.
Q 66. Have you found counselling helpful and relevant?
Only two respondents replied constantly. Four replied sometimes. Eight replied occasionally. Twenty-three replied never. By far the most successful form of assistance in understanding what was happening and ways to cope came from sharing experiences with other neurotypical partners: peer to peer mentoring as in SALVE. (Yes; seeking “answers” from other neurotypicals who are dumbfounded by “Asperger behavior” is the way to go.)
SALVE* is Support, Advocacy and Assistance, Listening, Validation, Education by someone who has lived the experience in order to alleviate the symptoms of Ongoing Traumatic Relationship Syndrome (OTRS)
Support for neurotypicals
Advocacy for their situation and Assistance dealing with AS spouses/children
Listening to and believing them
Validation of what they have experienced
Education about ASD and how it impacts them
At this point in reading results from a “survey” that attacks possibly Asperger males, while presenting the neurotypical spouses as passive victims, I have to say that this “self-reporting group” of women are highly dysfunctional themselves.
One of two respondents who replied “constantly” to question Q 66 received counselling by a war veteran psychologist…the constant domestic abuse, coercive control by neglect, dismissal, humiliation, ignoring, belittling, explosive outbursts has been likened to living in a war zone.
Q 46. Do you feel an obligation to prompt your partner or to fulfil their neglected duties?
Three replied never.
Q 48. Do you feel an obligation to remind and prompt your partner with cues about everyday situations?
Two replied never.
Those respondents out of a relationship or in long term relationships reported prompting their partner less as a result of sharing their experience and receiving SALVE through support groups and talking to others in the same situation. They use active resistance and don’t micro manage their own behaviour or the behaviour of their AS partner as they realise the futility of the endeavour. However, they still suffer the consequences of whatever takes place within or outside the household. (Wow! Who are these women, who cannot “let go” of a horrific relationship, but continue to participate in outrageous levels of family drama? If they have children, why do they persist in exposing them to domestic violence and trauma? And none of these women are “disordered” or responsible for their actions…?)
Many professionals currently recommend micro-managing by following “to-do” lists as a strategy to “improve” the relationship. When a neurotypical partner arrives at professional counselling they’ve already tried anything and everything to make the unworkable relationship work. (Is this not a pattern of “insanity”?) Resistance is used by other neurotypicals in their own fashion e.g. having their own bedroom and space or separate social outings. This does not minimise the pain and grief of the incongruent relationship. They still suffer the normal stress responses of Ongoing Traumatic Relationship Syndrome. (OTRS)
Q 47. Do you feel an obligation to solve urgent household disasters alone and for your partner?
Those respondents who have learned to protect and regain themselves by disconnecting and refusing to take up the slack had all been talking to and sharing experiences with other spouses in the same situation: those living with ASD partners. This strategy provided comfort and support for them, unlike their negative experiences with professional therapists and counsellors, who require compromise including couples counselling when compromise is not possible. (I smell a rat!)
Q 37: Do inconsistent messages of love characterise your relationship?
All participants felt inconsistent messages of love.
Intermittent reinforcement is when one person in a relationship metes out or reinforces rules, rewards or boundaries occasionally or inconsistently. Instead of discouraging the other person, intermittent reinforcement actually does the opposite. It fuels the recipient’s attempts to extract the reward once again, keeping them hopelessly locked onto the relationship. (Note that we actually KNOW NOTHING about the Asperger spouse’s experiences in the marriage, or even worse, whether the man is even “Asperger” since no diagnosis is required for inclusion in this attack against Asperger males.
Q 7. Is there spontaneous intimate connection such as “pillow talk”, real friendship, loving foreplay in your relationship?
Only one respondent replied constantly. (So the measure of a successful relationship is constant attention? Sounds narcissistic and unrealistic.)
Q 60. Do you feel loved during love making and romance?
Only two respondents replied constantly.
There is none or very little spontaneous, sincere loving physical and emotional contact in the vast majority of these marriages/partnerships. The essential ingredient in a marriage partnership is the intimate physical and emotional connection. It is unique and exclusive. When that connection is not there the relationship connection becomes extinct. Loneliness, solitary activities, strict routine, lack of being appreciated, lack of genuine physical warmth and tenderness crush the spirit of the neurotypical. (Again; this litany of victimization can characterize a relationship between any two human beings, regardless of age, race, religion, sexual orientation or other factors. This is “neurotypical nuttiness” – to blame failed relationships on ONE person or party and to not take responsibility for participation AS AN ADULT in the equation. This is a prime indication of psychological NEOTENY)
Q 38. Do you feel a loss of trust in your partner?
Only three replied they have not lost trust.
Without complete trust there is no real relationship as one partner is unable to completely relax with the other party. (Does trust travel in both directions? As an Asperger, I will add, Why would I “trust” a friend or intimate partner WHO HATES ME, but sticks around anyway, for some dysfunctional agenda; for economic reward, or for the social status of being a martyr?)
Q 25. Are you affected by family violence and or abuse?
Twenty-two replied never.
Q 58. Do you feel you live with domestic abuse and/or violence?
Fourteen replied never.
There is a perplexing contradiction between the number of respondents who answered never to these two questions and the much higher number of respondents who answered they experienced the following interaction, behaviours from their partners. (Could it be that these are women who not “rational” actors in their own lives, but in denial as to “why” they chose such difficult men? )
I was raised in an AS / NT marriage and I’m Asperger: I would not ever deny the “odd and difficult” behavior of my father, who was socially clueless, and particularly naïve and trusting toward “neurotypical” women; he never saw it coming – my mother’s motive for “snapping him up” was clear – she wanted respectability, financial status, and security. But – she was unwilling to offer anything in return.
Where is the human relationship in this nightmare presentation of “partnership”? Why are these people married to each other?
The excerpts below focus on interventions and suggestions for relationships in which a man with Asperger Syndrome (AS) is partnered with a woman who does not have AS (or a non-AS woman). The article in its entirety may be found on the AANE website. Yes, more stereotypes – Aspergers are robots. Would the “instructions” be the same for an AS woman married to a social typical man?
Asperger Marriage: Viewing Partnerships thru a Different Lens
by Grace Myhill, LICSW and Dania Jekel, MSW
What can be helpful to non-AS partners of people with AS? When it comes to AS, thinking outside the box is usually beneficial. It is important to hold on to and present to the group members the hope that AS + non-AS marriages can work—but probably not as traditional partnerships. The outcomes are best when both members of the couple learn about AS and communicate with each other about how it affects their relationship, recognize where their individual needs differ, and are open to working out alternative solutions—arrangements that may be original or unique to them, rather than meeting conventional expectations.
Yikes! This is an expedition to the center of Hell. Life as one long therapy session? Why would anyone do this?
Even in marriages where neither partner has AS, couples may marry expecting an unrealistically high level of togetherness— that they will do everything together—and it is important as the partners mature to let go of that fantasy. It is even more important for AS + non-AS couples to let go of such unrealistic expectations. Some AS + non-AS couples have separate bedrooms, separate sections of a house, or even separate houses. Women should be encouraged to have their own work, social networks, and places to turn to get their own needs met—needs which the partner with AS is not meeting, and may not be able to meet. On the other hand, it is important for a couple to continue to share their mutual interests as a means of connection or reconnection, even when raising children.
This is bat-crap crazy! Get a dog!
Because of executive function problems, the partner with AS may have trouble completing tasks or doing chores. Whenever possible, it is advisable to hire childcare or household help on a regular basis, to take some of the workload off of both partners and to minimize anger and resentment. In couples where the man with AS has difficulty managing money, if his partner cannot or does not want to take on this task, the couple should seek help in this area.
Oh – and one of you had better be rich!
Getting a formal diagnosis for a man with AS can make a difference. Working with the diagnosis—coming to understand that AS is the root cause of some behaviors, difficulties, or past misunderstandings—can help the couple to forgive and reconnect with each other. Similarly, disclosing the AS to extended family or community members may help heal other important relationships. A diagnosis may lead to making changes at home or at work to reduce stress for the man with AS. Men with AS who are motivated and willing are able to learn behavioral and communication skills that can improve their marriage. Some people with AS learn these skills from books but often they need private or group tutorials from a professional who knows about AS and how to teach social communication pragmatics. From these experts men with AS can learn about conversational hierarchy and social rules, such as how to ask people questions about themselves, and they can use this knowledge in their relationships with their partners.
More $$$$ for therapy
Even with the similarities described by group members, all people with AS are unique individuals, with different capacities and strengths. Some men with AS can be cognizant of the other person and can be quite helpful in certain ways— or they may respond well if asked directly to do something specific…
Other interventions that have worked with group members’ relationships are:
- Making lists
- Accommodating sensory needs, both positive and negative sensory feelings
- Resisting the temptation for both partners to make assumptions about the other’s feelings
- Making suggestions to each other without being critical
- Taking time to talk about issues and ideas looking for possible changes to old unhelpful patterns
- What stunningly vague and generalized suggestions! The “helping, caring, fixing” professions GET PAID for this feeble stuff; blah-blah-blah that a 2-year old could collect off the Internet.
In some cases, prescription medication may improve executive functioning, or lessen anxiety or depression for a man with AS. Medications should be prescribed and monitored by a psychiatrist or psycho-pharmacologist who has expertise treating AS. Prescription medication or individual psychotherapy may also be helpful for a non-AS wife until she is able to get more of her needs met, and is no longer overly stressed or depressed.
Of course! DRUGS are always the bottom line answer to human behavior problems: get “zonked” so that you can tolerate the horror of a “socially approved and prescribed” dysfunctional life.
Why? Because the human behavior industry HAS NO ANSWERS; human beings are “objects” to be controlled. There is no empathy for “life on the ground” as everyday humans experience it day to day.
Surprise! I have much to say about the failure of all types of marriage / partnership / cohabitation / reproductive arrangements in the U.S.A., where 40-50% of marriages end in divorce. Neurotypicals are obviously unable to form satisfying and long-lasting relationships. Asperger’s need not feel inferior or abnormal in this endeavor.
The question that no one seems to be asking is, Why are contemporary Americans so incompetent when making the choice to “merge their life” with a spouse or partner?
…insulting and dehumanizing.
Telemarketeer -Twenty years ago…
1997: In my now-and-then capacity as a telemarketer for the local newspaper, I have been addressed as Sir, Son, Ma’m, Dear, and Dude. The confusion produced by my telephone voice began when I was about ten years old, the result of an innocent quirk of nature that caused my mother so much embarrassment that she directed me to speak in a higher, more feminine voice, insisting that if I did so, the change would become permanent. Her idiotic suggestion did not win my compliance, and to this day the people I ring up on behalf of the local newspaper call me Sir, Son, Ma’am, or even Dude and I let them think whatever they wish.
As TV journalists like to say, “the vast majority” of copies of the weekly flyer named The Guide are delivered to residents of two towns in our county. Of the 30,000 copies printed each week, 350 must be mailed to outlying households, a service for which the United States Postal Service charges the publishers $125.00 per week. The postal authorities have decided that we (that’s me) must obtain the names of 8,000 people who will admit that they wish to receive The Guide, otherwise the Postal Service will no longer permit copies to be mailed bulk rate.
About Our County: Not the entire state, just our county. Imagine an area the size of Massachusetts. Remove the vegetation, the history, the thriving cities and towns, the ethnic culture, the restaurants, the shopping, the seafood, the numerous institutions of research and higher learning, the cultural arts, professional sports teams, and all but 45,000 of its people. Add bitter alkaline soil, a uniformly high and lifeless plateau (average altitude 6,500′) and precipitation on a par with the Mongolian Steppe. True, a river does flow through the area like the Nile crosses Egypt, but without delivering a single bucket of fertile sediment. Too barren for cattle – Pronghorn, coyote, varmints and rabbits form a tentative fauna. Hordes of sheep are trucked in during February because the vast public lands mean they can be rotated to a different grazing patch every two to three days.
Over the brief time that I’ve lived in Wyoming, contact with my neighbors has for the most part been via the phone calls I make on behalf of the newspaper’s ongoing survey. When someone answers the phone, I say, “This is The Guide calling to verify that you still wish to receive The Guide.”
The usual response is “uh” or “uh-huh”, both of which mean yes, so I quickly confirm the address as it appears in the phone book. Good enough, but in an extraordinary number of instances, the phone number does not belong to the person listed in the phone book. This invalidates the response, and I must ask the person to reveal his or her correct address and identity. Shockingly, he or she invariably complies. The percentage of disconnected numbers is also high: area jobs depend on oil and gas production and coal and trona (baking soda) mining, industries that guarantee a boom and bust transient population.
About half the respondents don’t recognize the free paper as The Guide, so I prompt them with, “The free Tuesday paper, the shopper’s guide, you know, the one that has the TV listings inside?”
Everyone gets it then, although a few say, “Oh! That thing I find in my bushes every Tuesday.” Which is true.
An alarming number of residents fear that we intend to take it away from them or that we will start charging for it. One woman said, “Well, if it’s a bother, I guess you can stop bringing it.”
Another meekly replied, “No, I don’t want it anymore – is that OK?”
A few say positive things such as, “We love that little paper.” “I sure do need that TV Guide,” and “Don’t leave me without the grocery store coupons.”
A teenager responded wryly, “My mother and her husband aren’t here. Call back.” Stereotypical husbands must ask the wife. “I’m not in a decision-making position in this house,” admitted one.
“My wife just got laid off and I’m kinda gettin’ that way too.” What this had to do with receiving a free paper, I’m not sure. I worry about folks who contrive to make me decide whether to say “yes” or “no” for them, and about a man who shouted, “Come over for a soft drink, a cup of coffee, and Ritz crackers.”
A high percentage of those who wish to stop delivery cite failing eyesight or blindness.
“I always have the TV on, why do I need a TV guide?” an elderly gentleman asked.
Sometimes despair overcomes me when my phone call intrudes on what sounds like a tiny human black hole at the center of a room-sized galaxy, surviving on energy sucked from an excruciatingly loud television set, with the furnace set on Hell, in the company of a sole surviving houseplant that was packed into potting soil in 1952, its one withered leaf gasping for the CO2 that the old human can no longer supply in sufficient quantity. Enough poetry.
The phone book is crammed with names that are new to me: Likwartz, Labuda, Bodyfelt, Copyak, Bozovich, Blazovich, Chewning, Bilyeu, Crnich, Cukale, Delanneoy, Depoyster, Fagnant, Holopeter, Jauregui, Jelouchan, Lovercheck, Manhard, Warpness, and more. Between 1850 and 1950, this corner of Wyoming attracted an international ensemble of men looking for the worst work on earth, but alas, ethnic names are the only lasting evidence of a diverse cultural heritage, which is not surprising in an environment that defeats human effort, and in which the vast and bleak land paralyzes the psyche.
A friend who grew up in a coal camp north of town contends that by the 1950’s, everyone had become the same. “Everybody just looked and sounded the same,” he said. “Bleak, beaten up, defeated.”
I continue to jot down amazing names: LaDonna LaCroix, Season Lower, Ty Harder, Larry Hell, Numa Grubb, Jack Leathers, Bert Mexican, Edwardo Wardo, Osmo Ranta, Clint Chick, Caddy Cackler, Fyrn Coon, Rhett Coy, Theron Dye, Deena & Alle Jo Butters, Kamber Bink Backman, Wanda Hodo, Hushlen Cochrun, Tex Jasperson, Cyma Cudney, Bubb Buh. And the surnames – Uncapher, Sweat, Warpness, Chitica, Laundra, Tonette.
Another melancholy evening as a telemarketer: one phone exchange took off on a sad energy of its own. I don’t recall what set the woman off, but she said that as a young bride she had agreed to follow her husband into the Colorado mountains for a three-month try at a mining job. The pair stayed to raise four kids before moving to Wyoming.
“Eighteen years in Colorado, eighteen here,” she said. A symmetrical life at least. Her husband still works as a miner and drives “a twelve-mile-long dirt road with nothing but ditches” to work and back, which worries her. “I can’t believe that my life is all gone,” she sighed. “After eighteen years we still don’t know anyone in this town.”
Me neither: my rubber dingy ran aground here a short two years ago and I’ve been busy falling in love with the landscape.
“We’re sorry, you have reached a marriage that has been disconnected or is no longer in service.” No longer connected are Duke + Sandra; Don + Darla; Eldon + LaRie; Cactus + Tammy; Amber + Travis; Hava + Holly; Jay + Dee Dee.
It could be 1957 outside the newspaper office, except that town was an exciting enclave back then. Copies of the newspaper from that time are characterized by enthusiasm and pride; by advertisements for roadhouses, dance halls, and social clubs that catered to every interest, age and hobby. There were restaurants and stores. A full plate of gossip and local news kept people connected. Flipping through the old papers makes me wish I had wandered here a half century ago.
Today’s main street is a dreary alignment of gas stations, concrete block motels, and auto body shops punctuated by weedy lots and businesses that stick to the Interstate interchange at either end of town like cultural antibodies guaranteed to fight off growth and prosperity.
Ancestral humans relied on their senses. Visual memory and concrete thinking formed their perception of the world. They were animals – and so are modern humans, except that modern humans suffer delusions of grandeur made possible by technology and magical thinking – two partners at work in creating human cultures.
Modern social people have an indirect relationship to nature, which causes big problems. Our perception of the world is moderated and modified by words; words are a valuable invention, but too often serve our egotistical notions. Scientists may have dismantled the idea that Earth is the center of the universe, but humans refuse to believe that man is not.
The integration of early humans with the natural world was more intimate than we can imagine. No other world existed. There were no written instructions, no external memory, no schools or delicatessens nor emergency medical services. Not even a bicycle. There were Master Humans, who may have been no more than teenagers, who functioned as the repositories of human knowledge for their group. Few memory aids had been invented – lines and designs scratched into a familiar rock outcrop or fascinating lumps of rock that resembled an animal or a person; a resemblance that could be enhanced with a few strokes of a tool. Dependence on each other was literal, not social, conceptual or abstract. To live was to exist in the present moment, and one instant of distraction or of inattention and – Bingo! Your time was up. Success required absolute trust in the behavior of people one lived and died with.
Dog and baby – how cute! Thousands of years of domestication of dogs and humans have made this interaction possible, but the dog retains wild behavior, and if its instinctive buttons are pushed, the baby is in serious danger of injury. (The baby is, in fact, in far more danger from predation by other humans) Big carnivores, with whom our ancestors shared the environment, have no such restraints. Human infants, like the young of other prey, would have been easy targets. Predation held human population in check, so that scavenging and gathering were sufficient to feed human groups that remained low in number. The gradual shift to human-as-carnivore would have boosted nutrition, providing the fat and protein that fueled larger brains and bodies. Bigger and better-fed humans would have been able to reduce predation. Infant survival rates gradually increased.
We forget or ignore that for most of existence humans were prey animals, and indeed for most humans alive today, that is the still the case. Now that we have greatly reduced, or exterminated, our wild rivals in the hunt for food and territory, man has turned on his own kind. Man is the predator most dangerous to children (pedophiles), to women (rapists, domestic abusers, murderers), to young men (violent gangs), to consumers (toxic and dangerous products), to entire predatory economies (sociopaths in suits), to civilian populations (chronic war), to entire nations (political interference and war. )
Modern human-on-human predation is a social activity built into the foundations of the social order – a hierarchy of power and authority that determines who can abuse lesser humans without consequence.
Thy Child’s Face / website
Thy Child’s Face is a testimonial to the sexual violence inflicted on children by predatory Roman Catholic priests. In the last 25 years, clergy sexual abuse of children has been revealed for what it is: an organized syndicate of criminal accomplices who work in concert to shield pedophile priests.
More at: http://thychild’sface.blogspot.com/
Yep! This is about as deep and complex as social feeling gets in the Good ‘ol USA. .
An alarming disconnect exists between the infantile modern social mantra that Life is a Hug and the real suffering inflicted by social institutions, including schools and the family.
Oh dear! I’m following the trail of “trance, hypnosis and altered states” and my 4WD brain is axle deep in muck, rumor, gossip, and the usual over-generalization that dominates social typical verbal concepts and communication.
It seems that every topic related to human thought and behavior has an “evil twin” conjured by psychiatry and psychology: “Dissociative” is a term that pops up in ASD / Asperger conversations and autism articles – utter confusion as to what “dissociation” means. Once again, the labels and terms which make “identifying” a “correct diagnosis” improbable! The diagnosis one “receives” depends on a “practitioner” who interprets “behavior” and applies labels that are “familiar” to his or her training – or lack thereof.
Let’s see what psychiatry has to say: American Psychiatric Association / APA website
What are dissociative disorders?
Dissociative disorders involve problems with memory, identity, emotion, perception, behavior and sense of self. Dissociative symptoms can potentially disrupt every area of mental functioning.
Examples of dissociative symptoms include the experience of detachment or feeling as if one is outside one’s body, and loss of memory or amnesia. Dissociative disorders are frequently associated with previous experience of trauma.
There are three types of dissociative disorders:
- Dissociative identity disorder
- Dissociative amnesia
- Depersonalization/derealization disorder
Dissociative Identity Disorder
Dissociative identity disorder is associated with overwhelming experiences, traumatic events and/or abuse that occurred in childhood. Dissociative identity disorder was previously referred to as multiple personality disorder.
Symptoms of dissociative identity disorder (criteria for diagnosis) include:
- The existence of two or more distinct identities (or “personality states”). The distinct identities are accompanied by changes in behavior, memory and thinking. The signs and symptoms may be observed by others or reported by the individual.
- Ongoing gaps in memory about everyday events, personal information and/or past traumatic events.
- The symptoms cause significant distress or problems in social, occupational or other areas of functioning.
In addition, the disturbance must not be a normal part of a broadly accepted cultural or religious practice. As noted in the DSM-51, in many cultures around the world, experiences of being possessed are a normal part of spiritual practice and are not dissociative disorders.
The attitude and personal preferences (for example, about food, activities, clothes) of a person with dissociative identity disorder may suddenly shift and then shift back. The identities happen involuntarily and are unwanted and cause distress. People with dissociative identity disorder may feel that they have suddenly become observers of their own speech and actions, or their bodies may feel different (e.g., like a small child, like the opposite gender, huge and muscular).
A few comments:
So – one’s identity is “characterized” by food, clothing and entertainment choices? Really?
Are transgender people diagnosed with Dissociation Identity Disorder?
Again we see the “Religious Exemption” in force – WHY does this “Taboo” Exist, against diagnosing behavior that is clearly defined as pathologic outside of religious or cultural context?
“Disorder hysteria” has consumed the U.S. public for decades. Estimates declare that Over 50% of Americans “Are mentally ill” during a given year – no wonder: The “catalogue” of pathologies is bloated and repetitive; that is, the “list” of disorders is incredible – and there is no limit on how many “diagnosis” an individual may receive. Symptoms overlap from disorder to disorder and are “subjective” observations, which are not quantifiable, a system that is wide open to misuse and distortion.
It is assumed that “anyone” who is doing a diagnosis, or reporting their opinion about a child or adult undergoing examination, is invested with the “magical power” of divination: that is, signs and symbols – (reported or observed behavior) confer absolute knowledge of what is “going on” within the mind-brain of the subject! This is no different in principle than a priest in any culture “reading” bird flight, the shapes of puddles of lead, sheep livers, or goat entrails in order to diagnose everything from individual illness or the displeasure of the gods with the moral transgressions of the king. The observer’s personal interpretation of “what is wrong” is matched to a table of familiar type, used in palm-reading, fortune-telling, phrenology and now “brain wave” readings.
“Self-Diagnosis” has become a plague, due to the “acceptance” by the public of “research” that is rushed to publication via “science news” sites – Often research is faulty, illegitimate or just plain dumb, to begin with, and sensationalized (by the researchers and/or their publicists) for public consumption.
Do specific individuals suffer from mind states that are painful, disruptive and debilitating? Of course. But if “modern psych-psych theory” and its applications are “correct” as to how human beings work, why then is the American population experiencing a drug addiction and mental illness epidemic that is GETTING WORSE despite “the miracle of psychiatric drugs”? Why does it take years, and often decades, for individuals to be diagnosed with “something” that actually matches their symptoms? Why do “diagnosis and treatment” of the same person – same symptoms differ between “experts” that he or she may consult?
This stupid video has been viewed more than 11 MILLION times…there are way too many narcissists out there!
Is there any doubt that this character assassination is based on Asperger symptoms?
Note the blue eyes – I must be a genius. A majority of Old West “gunslingers” supposedly had blue eyes. Gee Whiz! For being such a minority, we sure have a lot of responsibilities…
Here we go again: Word problems; specifically, definitions of complex subjects – definitions that aren’t “defining” at all. Over-generalized psycho-babble, popular myth, neotenic novelty, “parlor games”, pseudo-religious “power-seeking” conspiracy theories. A study here and there; the product of some psychologist “dabbling” in the magic world “forbidden” by science, but the true home, magnet, and desire of the practitioners of human sciences – Supernatural POWER.
What a mess!
But – my intuition, and a lot of brain-scouring, which is what I call thorough analysis, tells me that a golden nugget of information lies buried in the mess: original and authentic human experience with multiple “brain states.” This process will be like tackling the warehouse of an unrepentant hoarder – in this case, the entire history of “mental products” manufactured by civilization; a growing thing; a monster in a cave, coveting the bones of the animals it has eaten; unable or unwilling to “clean house” of its cherished knickknacks (ideas) on which each generation begins and ends its purported “search” for knowledge.
Aye, yai, yai! How can I be so optimistic as to “believe” that “the word concept mess” can be untangled, when social humans are deathly afraid of any disturbance in the “force” of accumulated nonsense that is their universe?
I’m Asperger: Get out the pick and shovel; bring in the dumpsters, and get to work. It’s really not much different than “the hunt” for something of value at a thrift store, flea market or yard sale, just more “stuff” to dig through.
Some definitions and expanded info.
The (A) insert denotes aspects that (in my experience) relate to Asperger’s.
trance: Etymology: L, transire, to pass across 1. a sleeplike state characterized by the complete or partial suspension of consciousness and loss or diminution of motor activity, as seen in hypnosis, dissociative disorders, and various cataleptic and ecstatic states. 2. a dazed or bewildered condition; stupor. 3. a state of detachment from one’s immediate surroundings, such as in deep concentration or daydreaming. (A)
Mosby’s Medical Dictionary, 9th edition. © 2009, Elsevier.
trance: Psychiatry – A state of focused attention and diminished sensory and motor activity seen in hypnosis, hysterical neurosis, dissociative types. See Ecstatic religious state, Neurosis.
McGraw-Hill Concise Dictionary of Modern Medicine. © 2002 by The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.
hypnosis: 1. a state of altered consciousness, usually artificially induced, in which there is a focusing of attention and heightened responsiveness to suggestions and commands. Contrary to popular belief, hypnosis is not sleep but rather intense concentration, something like the familiar experience of being engrossed in a book to the extent of shutting out the outside world. (A)
Use of Hypnosis. A common medical use of hypnosis is in treating mental illness. Historically, Sigmund Freud developed his theory of the unconscious as a result of his experiments with a hypnotized patient. Out of this theory came some of the techniques of psychoanalysis. By lessening the mind’s unconscious defenses, hypnosis can make some patients able to recall and even re-experience important childhood events that have long been forgotten or repressed by the conscious mind. (Here we have one of those misbegotten “concepts” that plagues our thinking about “how the brain works” This “model” claims that there is a “place in the brain” named “the unconscious” This place is a type of “hell” for “bad stuff” – a storage unit that comes with every “apartment” (human being) This is not a “scientific” idea, but a bad analogy: the structure of a house or building does not correspond to the “architecture” of the brain. Warning! Don’t go near the creepy basement without a psychiatrist – shaman to guide you! ! It has been demonstrated that hypnosis can produce FALSE memories; whatever is truly happening during so-called hypnotherapy, the unconscious is not a “bad place” It’s not a location at all!)
In certain cases when the use of anesthetics is not advisable, hypnosis has been used successfully during dental treatment, setting of fractures, and childbirth, usually in addition to pain-killing medicines. (Really? We read this all the time, but “proof” is hard to find – and the administration of pain-killers is glossed over, as though these have no effect on pain or pain tolerance!)
self-hypnosis: (A) the process of putting oneself into a trancelike state by autosuggestion, such as concentration on a single thought or object. Some subjects are more susceptible than others. (As usual, we see the circuitous type of definition: the words “trance, trancelike, sleep, sleeplike, hypnosis” are used to define each other: there is no “definition” of the concepts except the usual highly generalized notion of “something like sleep” And yes, I think that Asperger’s are highly “self-hypnotic”.
altered state of consciousness: any of various states of awareness (as dreaming sleep, a drug-induced hallucinogenic state, or a trance) that deviate from and are usually clearly demarcated from ordinary waking consciousness. (“Altered state” is negatively defined as any presentation of self to others, which does not conform to the socially-prescribed “judgement” as to “normal” thought and behavior – this negative judgement is culture-bound; it is NOT universal to Homo sapiens. Inducing altered states is a mega-activity for Homo sapiens! In the U.S., alteration of “brain experiences” that are induced by drugs and alcohol is “outside of approval” but hysteria within religious context is “okay”. Seeking altered states by “ecstatic” means is normal in many cultures, and considered to be a doorway to the “divine” or spiritual experience.