The Home Environment / Critical for ASD kids

A few snips from post after post by the truly enraged mother of a 21 year-old autistic son that she wants out of her house. There is no doubt that parenting an autistic child is an enormous challenge, but like any child, the environment is critical to the outcome for the child. Rants about a child who “chooses to be an asshole” are disturbing and shocking. One of the mean things that she says is painfully familiar: my mother accused me of being happy around my friends, but not when with the family. By that time (high school) I was able to say, “Yes. They like me, and they don’t treat me like a stranger.”


Makes one think that so-called institutionalization, if it were done correctly, would be better than a barrage of hate at home.


“There are too many people in this house that you fight with. You fight with everyone! Me. Your brother, the dog and cat. Your father. If you haven’t gotten along with us in almost 20 years, chances are, you won’t start now. You do however get along with friends and peers. You will get along with strangers better than you will EVER get along with your family!”

“You are not happy here. You are happiest when you are away from your family.  You are happy at work. You are happy at church and when you are with your church family. You are happy when you are around your friends, and people your age.  You are happy when you travel and spend time away from us. Why not have more of that?  Truthfully, freedom is happiness! Trust me. I’d give anything to be free and on my own! The time I lived on my own was the best time of my life!” (Wow! Wish you’d never been born.)

“Life struggles make you stronger. Life can’t always be easy, or you will never learn anything. Challenges are opportunities to learn. An easy life teaches you absolutely nothing. Living on your own figuring out your bills and your life will be challenging, but it will definitely lead to you being a strong man and less of a baby!”

“I say this with all the love in my heart. Love that you will see a lot more of, once you move out of my house!”


2 thoughts on “The Home Environment / Critical for ASD kids

  1. Ooh! A transplanted-from-beyond-the-grave Nietsche-ite! (Sp?)

    On a sour-er note: why do I get the distinct impression that this woman’s diatribes are actually saying something like “curse your impudence, you wretch! Everything you do is done to cause ***me*** trouble! Don’t you know that I outrank you (socially), and everything you say, think and do is supposed to make me look good to my peers and betters? As in you’re supposed to provide me with unlimited narcissistic supply? Why aren’t you my totally-controlled and fully-owned #psychopath#, damn your eyes!”


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