Looking for a Lucrative Career? / Try Psychology

From the website Best Psychology Degrees

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Actually, you don’t have to listen; “pretending” to listen is more professional.

 

 

“Psychology is one the most popular (translation; easiest) bachelor’s degrees in the nation.  It ranks among the top 3 majors at the undergraduate level and offers students increasingly diverse career paths as various industries develop over time. As more students pursue their degree in psychology, there is a growing need to illuminate the best career paths in the field.”

1: Psychiatrist $177,520 Hard: You have to get an actual MD, but you automatically join the largest drug cartel on the planet. And being a “drug lord” is legal! And you get to be “snarky” to your clients and to “lesser beings” (psychologists) because you’re smarter than they are. That’s what shrinks do. And don’t pass up a long tradition of f**king up children by using them as lab rats!

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2: Private Practice Clinical Therapists ≈ $150,000

3: Industrial-Organizational Psychologist $98,800

4: Neuropsychologist $86,645

5: Clinical Psychologist $72,220

6: Engineering Psychologist $80,000

7: Correctional Facility Psychologist $85,000

8: Military Psychologist $80,000

9: Corporate Manager 100,000+

10: Administrative Hospital Psychologist $95,000

The full article presents 25 careers, with educational requirements and job descriptions. No empathy needed!

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The blizzard of charts and diagrams that “make up” psychology are perfectly useless: Just memorize a few bullet points, regurgitate on a test (Oh heck! It’s open book!) and promptly forget. Flatter your professor (if you have one), otherwise, make the T.A. think that you think he or she is a genius, copy short essays from the Internet (no one will care; how do you think they got a degree?) and dress “academic” (kind of weedy and tweedy, but polyester is fine). Grow a scruffy goatee (optional for females). Don’t worry! “How to act sincere, use stock sociopathic behavior to get what you want, and how to inflate your credentials IS the content of your psychology degree!

Warning Psych Students: Mindboggling conspiracy theories in your future.

Warning Psych Students: Mindboggling conspiracy theories in your future. And if you’ve ever read THE BIBLE, you’ll feel right at home as a member of the “new priesthood”

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2 thoughts on “Looking for a Lucrative Career? / Try Psychology

    • I went back to grad school to get certified to teach high school science; all the education course were psych courses. They were ridiculously easy and 99% nonsense. I also had a job more recently as a “tech” (I unlocked / locked the door) for U. of Wyoming video courses – all MS and PhD students and all Ed Psych courses. After sitting through every course for three years in a row, I had to quit! I couldn’t listen to anymore bull shit. The courses each amounted to the prof. droning on and on about his particular beliefs: all you had to do to pass was to agree with him. The students were working teachers who complained about any attempt to quantify information or test their students for competence. Those experiences are why I hammer on psychologists in my blog.

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